Baby, I'm Sorry
by HardcoreQueen
Summary: Human!AU- Starscream regrets his actions and wishes he could turn back time so that he can fix the broken bridge between them.


**Baby, I'm sorry**

Couples are usually seen laying around, staring at the starry night sky, saying sweet nothings and making empty promises. That's what Starscream missed the most since the war. He missed the feeling of having someone close to him, comforting him about whatever that was bothering him. He missed the soft gentle touches he gave and was given. He missed her. He wanted her. He, while in the recuperating process, heard songs from a radio that he managed to salvage. There was a song that caught his attention, one that expressed the feelings in his heart and the thoughts in his head. Remembering the song, he reflected on his actions and how they brought upon dire consequences, while staring out the window of his quarters on the Nemesis.

 _You left my side cause you didn't like me_

 _I've done nothing for you, why are you worried about me?_

 _But I know your feelings for me and I hate it_

 _Don't worry about it and just leave_

 _Why do you keep being annoying?_

 _Who are you to worry about me?_

 _I'm fine without you now so I say mind your own business_

 _With words that I don't even mean, I lie_

 _I give you painful scars and turn around_

Starscream clenched his hands into fists, appalled that he had allowed his ego, his idealism, his selfishness. Because he was so caught up with himself, he lost the love of his life, the one who supported him in whatever he did. She was the only one willing to help him adapt to the outside world, the only one willing to listen and solve his problems, the only one willing to lend her shoulder for him to release long overdue tears. But what did he do? He chose to stand by his idol instead of his stone pillar, Arcee. It's no wonder she hates him so much.

 _Because I'm a guy who lacks so much_

 _Since I don't deserve to be in love_

 _I hurt you up until the end_

 _Even though that's not what I wanted to do_

 _Baby I'm sorry, even without you, somehow_

 _I'm okay_

 _Somehow it's bearable_

 _Don't ever worry about me again_

 _I'm sorry_

 _Words that can't satisfy you_

 _I'm so sorry_

 _Actually, I love you_

He felt a pang in his heart when the lyrics of the chorus hit home. His poor heart ached, wanting to say those few words to her so very badly. After nearly getting his life ended by the same one who changed it, he did some self-reflection, and wanted to hit himself so hard until he couldn't get up when he realized his life-changing blunder. For fuck's sake, he abandoned his love only to find himself fighting her instead of with her.

 _You always felt anxious because of a guy like me_

 _You shed tears because I treated you so bad_

 _Now just forget me and live happily_

 _Just think that a guy like me has died_

Starscream remembered when he killed Cliffjumper in the nemesis, remembering how he did it so coldheartedly without a second thought. He didn't think about Arcee reminding him to remember her before doing anything that needed desperate measures. His face wrinkled in regret, realizing how he was slowly losing his humanity, losing what made Arcee even look at him, who Arcee loved before the stupid war broke out.

 _Thank you so much for all this time_

 _I should've let go of you with those warm words_

 _I'm really sorry_

 _But even up until the moment I turned around_

 _I left only deep regrets_

"Fucking shit, I screwed up bad. I screwed up so fucking bad..." Starscream berated himself for being so ignorant and selfish to forget about the love of his life. She was the one who turned his life around, and he made all her effort be in vain.

 _Baby I'm sorry, even without you, somehow_

 _I'm okay_

 _Somehow it's bearable_

 _Don't ever worry about me again_

 _I'm sorry_

 _Words that can't satisfy you_

 _I'm so sorry_

 _Actually, I love you_

When he ended the song, he realized that there were tears streaming down his face, result of the immense guilt of his actions in the past. After what he did, Arcee would most probably have overridden her love for him with hatred, eliminating any chance of reconciling with her and rekindling the passion between them both. After a few moments of letting it all out, he took a few breaths to calm his pounding heart. He knew what he did was irreversible and impossible for things to go back to the way it used to be. Instead of fighting with her, he was fighting against her. But still... He whispered four words. Four words that needed to be desperately heard by the one it was meant for.

Four words.

 _"I'm so sorry, Arcee..."_


End file.
